parker pattern - isn't it lovely?

exercise in amalgamation #2

Anyone into that new Feistonna Newsom Kiley Power? Real empowering.

Mad with power

I'm entirely guilty of being ignorant toward 99% of the Oprah's book club cannon and trust me I have my reasons. But this item at borders tweaked my eye into curiosity even though I'm three years too late. It turns out that a Toni Morrison, drunk off the fumes coming from the enamel on her Pulitzer, decided her book should appropriate a title that someone already has intellectual property rights to. A little someone named God.

I mean, heck, we all get a little annoyed when you name something a word that is already the name of something else. Thats a simple abuse of language. Just look what happened to that cocaine energy drink. But this goes far beyond confusion of nouns. She's trying to cop an entire book of the bible for pete's sake. Oh wait, it isn't supposed to be like a re-make is it?

I've been hearing this word lately

Does the term "Muggle" sound like a racial slur to anyone else?

Exercise in Amalgamation

I've been listening to a lot of Fall Out at the Chemical Disco these days. That singer sings his little heart out. You can tell the strength someone's constitution by how earnest his or her stage presence is.

Smitten

I don't know anything about winning any elections in 2008... but in the Chaz polls this Obama character has been voted charming!

In other news Cheeks Kilpatrick ran unopposed to win the seat for the 13th precint in Michigan, and Ban Ki-Moon is our new U.N. Secretary general. It's a new age for political figures with silly names. And I thought it wouldn't ever get better than Spirou Agnew or Boutros Boutros Ghali.

And if were on the topic of likable civil servants in Illinois, have you ever seen an Attorney General more easy on the eyes than Lisa Madigan. What a letigious Babe-o-tron. Bet she gets that from all the pundits.

The Man Who Fell to Earth

The single most pervaisive catalyst of absurdity and condradiction: Robert Kelly. This analysis is very likely "way last year" and all, but I'm personally overjoyed to find this little clue, in the ongoing mystery that is R. Kelly's psyche, one year past the full "Trapped in the Closet" hype:

The Biggest Theatre Dork on MTV

If you're worried you might be lost in the narrative, don't. The crack editing team behind the VMA's have compiled a "previously on trapped in the closet" montage for you. If you already know what happens in the early chapters, just sit tight. Way worth it.

Like I mentioned earlier I am well aware that trapped in the closet commentary is dated. Nonetheless, the man in completely worthy of more fine tuned analysis, because ultimately nobody has figured this one out. There have been no concrete entries into explaining how something like trapped in closet is possible and what its pop ramifications are. Finding a single source to explain what is really being submitted though a multi-part urban serial musical is as simple and as difficult as finding a singular truth in post-modernity. Like, if someone can insighfully wrap up everything thats going on in TINC then we can all believe in god and goodness and love and justice and so forth, and if we ultimately fail to unlock Mr. Kelly's riddle we all going to have to read, and like, more Nitchze.

If you space out R. Kelly's inexplicable crimal acts of entertainment over more time than R. Kelly's publicist meant for you to space, it gives you some distance and a simple fact ring like a gong: something in Robert Kelly's character makes it impossible to not top himself. Just when you think you might have been able to rationalize why he did the last ridiculous thing he did he will shatter your efforts with the gentle stroke of his beretta. This is what people said about the 2005 release TP3: Reloaded (including only the first five parts of the TITC saga)in comparison to the headline worthy, though not entirely suprising falling out with Hova over the "Unfinished Business" album and corresponding disaster of a tour with the same name in 2004. You say to yourself:

"A five part mini-concept album inside an album...what a way to top off a national cat fight with a hip-hop mogul and an arrogant failure of a collaboration album! what a hoot. Lets laugh this one off".

Oh, but no. Robert wont let you off that easy. Then we get a cinematic companion to the five chapters. Maybe this project has reached its zenith? Hardly. The man, seemingly unable to do anything else, keeps repeating the same damn melody and pumping out episode after episode like a Hip-Hop Copolla blowing up helicopters until his narrative vision is satisfied. I thought maybe it could end there. It was worth a laugh and an metaphysical/pop cultural problem that no one could fully wrap their mind around, but we can all go back to our lives because this man couldn't ever dish out something that ridiculous again. Enter the MTV performance. It's pure gold. Its laughable yet exciting, and theres the usual MTV studio audience tweens who are hooting at "urban" performance art like it was Green Day.

The point here is that R. Kelly is a man who somehow always self-improves by self-devolving. Each step should be more of an indication of insanity or stike against his credibity but he is either caught in, or controlling, a loop of pop-culture feedback that makes his terrible decisions career heightening decisions. He is a large balloon of a man inflated with absurdity helium. Perhaps it would all spew out if his membrane were poked, but for now he's gaining altitude.

Origin Story

These works of thought, discussion and review are written in dedication to Beaky, a Yellow Tang fish. As a youth I freguented the Minnesota zoo (a kick ass zoo, by the standards of all zoos I’ve seen afterward). I learned of an “adopt a fish” program, that the zoo organized, on a sign adjacent to an enormous indoor tank or tropical fish. I found a Yellow Tang, the was the clear favourite amongst the hundreds of fish before me. I requested my parents adopt the Tang so that we could have a pet away from home. We could check on him on a bi-monthly basis. The Tang was never adopted. Nevertheless, I named the Yellow Tang Beaky, and by doing so found a way to adopt him in a more significant way than any zoological philanthropist could ever hope to adopt. I always found him swimming in good health whenever I visited the zoo, which was surprisingly often. That Tang is most assuredly no longer with us. But to the memory of that faithful fish, I leave these words. This one is for you, Beaky.

Satismaction

It turns out that fruity pebbles are more satismafying than smacks. I don't even think smacks are even available to to smatisfy anyone anymore. That frog sure seemed to think he received satismaction though.